FF = Fantasy Football or Friggin' Farce

I vote the latter.

Those who know me, know I can be a wee bit competitive.  When I say I've gotten better over the last several years, I truly believe it -- others wait for me to be struck by lightning.  Unfortunately, any hope I have of learning to curb my competitive "instincts" (yes, let's blame Darwin) goes completely out the window come Sunday.  

Damn you, Fantasy Football!

For the past few years, my brother-in-law graciously has organized a family fantasy football league, one with low expectations and an even lower cost to join.  (We started at $10/person, and now it's down to just bragging rights as the major reward.  Yeah, I'll take anything.)  After bringing up the rear two years in a row, this year, I ended up with a pretty sweet team.  That's what happens when you place all power over choosing your roster totally into the hands of the computer -- a difficult thing to give up for a control freak like me, but it was the only way I was going to commit to this exercise in frustration.  

You want quarterbacks?  I got quarterbacks: Eli Manning, Robert Griffin III (a.k.a., "RGIII", for all you fellow FF gluttons-for-punishment out there), Tony Romo.

Running Backs?  Wide Receivers?  Heck, I have some of them too: Arian Foster (#1 in our league!), AJ Green.... 

I even have the top KICKER!  (You'll never know the depths of FF despair until you are yelling at your television, wondering why the coach isn't calling in the field goal unit, only to finally realize it's a MEASLY 3 POINTS you're begging/pleading/bartering the family pet for.)

What I DON'T have, however, is any understanding of how my team can be projected to beat the bejeezus out of each of my opposing family members, week in and week out, yet we still manage a loss.  The numbers don't add up!  Where's the auditor for this thing?  Who's paying off the refs this week??  Didn't ANYONE in the NFL get my memo about family bragging rights being on the line, my plan to go undefeated this season, and all the hours I've been spending perfecting my evil victory laugh?!?

The only possible explanation I can come up with: some fantasy football god must be trying to remind me to settle down and stop screaming "Run, dummy!  RUN!!"

Funny how he/she sounds just like my husband.