Driving for dummies….and there are a lot of dummies out there driving

In experiencing the inability of drivers to…well….drive, I think there should be a mandatory driving test for whenever you renew your license.  It is as if people take Driver’s Ed and then throw out the notes once they get their license.  There are SO many bad drivers out there.  Not that I am a fantastic driver but I am not horrible like many that I deal with every day.  It has been years since I have taken the driving test so I couldn’t even tell you what was in it, however, there are some common sense rules that one on the road should abide by.

• Driver tip #1:  When merging onto the interstate from an entrance ramp, you should reach a speed to easily merge into the flow of traffic.  Do not drive 30 mph on the ramp and then decide to speed up once you are actually on the interstate.  You are a danger to traffic and could easily cause an accident.

•  Driver tip #2:  Be observant!  If a car is trying to merge onto the interstate and you are in the lane they need to merge in, get over to the other lane!  (This only applies to the lane being open for you to move over to.)  Many times have I tried to get on the interstate only to have some jackwad camping out in the right lane with no one else in sight and I have to slow up because I have to get in behind them and then pass them.

•  Driver tip #3:  Figure out how to maintain your own frickin’ speed.  Don’t ride my ass and then hang out in my blind spot, not passing me, once I move over for you.  To the point where I have to get back in front of you because you failed to even come close to passing me and I need to get around another car.  It is like the only way you know how to maintain speed is by drafting the car in front of you.  Cruise Control…..learn to use it.

• Driver tip #4:  The “blink and go”.  This is when a person turns on their blinker and is already getting in front of me before the blinker has finished a full blink.  You are a danger by assuming I am watching your every move.  Yes, I am aware of my surroundings, but I can’t read your idiotic mind.  I can’t anticipate what you are going to do.  If I could see the future, I would be a damn lottery winner by now.

•  Driver tip #5:  Pulling out in front of me and cutting me off.  If you are going to gun it and pull out in front of me, at least pull out into the empty lane next to the one I am driving in.  By pulling out in front of me and not accelerating, you cause me to slam on my brakes for your dumb ass instead of slamming into the back of your car like I should have done.  You were in such of a hurry to get out in front of me, you should be in a hurry to also speed the hell up.

• Driver tip #6:  Don’t ride my bumper so close that I can see what color of lipstick you are wearing.  Are you trying to drive through me?  And do you not see the long line of cars directly in front of me?  You aren’t going to get any further by riding my butt so lay off!

• Driver tip #7:  When at a stop light and the light turns green, don’t honk your horn at me if I am not squealing pavement as soon as the light changes.  Give my brain synapses time to connect.  Lay off the horn trigger buddy.   Some day that horn will not work when you need it for a REAL emergency.

Okay, I will stop there for today……I’m sure there are plenty more issues I have with drivers……stay tuned!!